No more food fuss: A parent’s guide to happy meals

Published on 26 December 2024

Turn mealtime meltdowns into bonding moments to help your toddler explore and enjoy new flavours – one bite at a time.

Getting your little one to eat their fruits and veggies can feel like a daily battle, leaving you stressed about their nutrition and frustrated by their refusals.

Why the fuss?

“Picky eating is part of a child’s developmental journey,” explained Dr Yuen. “Young children crave consistency during a period of rapid changes, so sticking to familiar foods gives them a sense of control and predictability. Food refusal is one way in which toddlers test boundaries.”

Sensory sensitivities often play a role in food refusal. “Some children are more sensitive to textures, smells or tastes, which makes some foods harder for them to accept,” Dr Yuen said. A child’s temperament can influence their eating habits, too. “Children who are easily frustrated or have a more rigid nature may be more prone to food aversions,” she added.

Other factors, such as gastrointestinal problems or late introduction of lumpy foods during weaning, may also be contributing factors.

Potential dangers

Picky eating can lead to nutritional deficiencies, including low intake of iron and zinc, which are linked to insufficient consumption of meat, fruits and vegetables. “The lack of dietary fibre can also result in constipation,” cautioned Dr Yuen.

In addition, studies have shown that picky eaters may be at a higher risk of being underweight and experiencing poor growth.

“A study from the United States also found that children with moderate to severe selective eating behaviours showed increased anxiety and depressive symptoms,” said Dr Yuen. “This could be due to sensory sensitivities that not only make eating difficult but also affect emotional regulation.”

While many children grow out of picky eating, early intervention is crucial to identifying and addressing more severe cases.

From tantrums to tasty treats

Managing picky eating takes patience, consistency, and a few practical strategies to turn mealtimes into more enjoyable experiences.

“Start by introducing new foods gradually,” advised Dr Yuen. “Offer a small portion of a new food alongside familiar favourites. It’s common for children to reject something at first, but repeated exposure – up to 10 or even 20 times – can make a difference. If your toddler refuses a certain food, wait a few days and try again.”

Modelling healthy eating habits is another powerful tool. “Children are great imitators,” said Dr Yuen. “When they see their parents enjoying a variety of foods, they’re more likely to give them a try.”

Creating a calm, positive atmosphere at mealtimes can also encourage exploration. Dr Yuen recommended avoiding pressure or forcing your child to eat, which can lead to traumatic, negative feelings towards eating. “Praise good behaviours,” she said. “Instead of asking if they like the food, talk about its colour, shape or taste to spark curiosity.”

Encouraging self-feeding is another step towards fostering independence and reducing resistance – even if it gets messy. “Letting your toddler feed themselves gives them a sense of control,” Dr Yuen explained. “Expect some mess – it’s all part of the learning process. You can place newspapers under their chair to make clean-up easier.”

Activities outside of mealtimes can create positive experiences with food. “Bringing the children along for grocery shopping, letting them help with meal prep or exploring sensory play can make learning about food fun and interactive,” she added. 

Know when to seek professional help

If picky eating is causing significant stress or affecting growth, consult a doctor, Dr Yuen advised.

Other red flags to watch for include eating fewer than 10 foods in each major food group; persistent choking, gagging, or vomiting during meals; difficulty transitioning to textured foods; and signs of distress or pain during feeding.

At NUH’s Feeding and Nutrition Clinic, a multidisciplinary team of paediatricians, dietitians, psychologists and speech therapists can help families address such feeding challenges.

Dr Yuen shared the success story of a two-year-old girl referred to the clinic for falling weight percentiles and frequent upper respiratory tract infections. “With guidance, her parents removed screen time during meals and started eating together as a family. Over time, she regained her weight, and mealtimes became less stressful for everyone.”

While dealing with picky eating can feel exhausting, Dr Yuen encouraged parents to remain optimistic. “Celebrate every small win, whether it’s a tiny bite of a new food or simply sitting calmly at the table,” she said. “These little steps add up over time. With patience, understanding and the right support, your child can develop healthier eating habits – making mealtimes more enjoyable for the whole family.”

The Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology (O&G) is part of the National University Centre for Women and Children (NUWoC), a national university specialist centre that aims to empower women, children and their families to lead healthier lives.

In consultation with Dr Yuen Wing Yan, Associate Consultant, Division of Developmental and Behavioural Paediatrics, Department of Paediatrics, Khoo Teck Puat – National University Children’s Medical Institute, NUH, and Associate Consultant, NUWoC Children’s Clinic, NTFGH.