When nursing your newborn hurts more than it helps
Published on 13 August 2025
It’s normal to feel unsure in the beginning. Breastfeeding takes practice, support and time – and you are not alone.
Breastfeeding is often painted as serene and instinctive — a quiet moment between mother and child. But for many new mothers, those first attempts can feel anything but calm — instead, they can be filled with soreness, confusion and doubt, especially when things do not go as smoothly as hoped.
“Breastfeeding is a learning journey,” said Ms Nurhanesah A Rahman, Senior Staff Nurse at the National University Polyclinics (NUP) and an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant. “It takes time for both mother and newborn to find a comfortable feeding rhythm.”
A learning curve for two
“Engorged breasts, sore nipples and difficulty maintaining a proper latch are common,” said Ms Nurhanesah.
While some tenderness is normal in the early days, sharp, persistent pain may signal a poor latch — one of the main causes of nipple discomfort. “A shallow latch often causes soreness and should be corrected immediately,” she said.
Simple adjustments, such as changing feeding positions or bringing the baby to breast level, can help. If pain persists, seek help rather than endure it. “A certified lactation consultant can assess the latch and guide mothers through difficulties."
Newborns typically feed every two to three hours — up to 12 times a day. “Watch your baby, not the clock,” Ms Nurhanesah advised. “A well-fed baby will seem content after feeding, have enough wet diapers daily, and gain weight steadily.”
Frequent feeding is not always about hunger. “Babies also nurse for comfort, connection and security,” she said.
Bonding often begins with skin-to-skin contact immediately after birth. “It triggers instinctive feeding behaviours, supports the first latch, boosts maternal hormones and stimulates milk production,” she said. It also helps regulate a newborn’s temperature, heart rate and blood sugar, giving them a stable start.
Making milk, not magic
Concerns about low milk supply are common. “The key to establishing good supply is frequent, effective feeding,” said Ms Nurhanesah.
“Start latching as soon after birth as possible, feed on demand and avoid formula unless medically needed.”
Combination feeding – using both breast and bottle – can work with the right timing and method.
“Introduce the bottle when the baby is calm, not overly hungry, and hold them upright to give them comfort and control.”
Ms Nurhanesah advised paced bottle feeding — offering milk slowly with pauses — to mimic the flow of breastfeeding. This helps reduce the risk of bottle preference, and is a useful approach for working mothers or those who need additional support.
Support makes a difference
No mother breastfeeds alone. Support from husbands and family members is vital, said Ms Nurhanesah. They can help with household chores, care for the baby so the mother can rest, and offer reassurance during difficult moments.
The early days can feel isolating, especially with little sleep and an overload of advice. But even small gestures of help can make a difference.
If breastfeeding does not go as planned, frustration is natural.
“Don’t give up on a bad day,” she said. “Take it one feed at a time. Focus on what you are giving your child, not on what you feel you are lacking.”
In consultation with Senior Staff Nurse Nurhanesah A Rahman, NUP.
