This is how Dr Vinita Tahilramani greets her young patients every day. Often, they are dealing with difficult situations such as grief, abuse, and divorce. “Play therapy is a very holistic way of seeing a young child. It is very difficult to see the inner world of young children because they may not be verbally expressive of their feelings,” said Dr Tahilramani.

Recent studies have shown a significant rise in mental health issues among Singapore’s youth. For example, the Singapore Youth Epidemiology and Resilience (YEAR) study, which polled more than 3,300 young people aged 10 to 18, found that about one in 10 teens in Singapore has a mental health disorder. The same poll, conducted from 2020 to 2022, also showed that about one in three respondents internalised mental health symptoms such as depression, anxiety and loneliness, with those aged 14 to 16 reporting more serious symptoms. Meanwhile, roughly one in six young people had more overt mental health symptoms, such as hyperactivity, rule-breaking and aggression.

These statistics highlight the critical importance of addressing mental health in children and the potential role of play therapy as a supportive intervention.

On the surface, a miniature red train or a stuffed toy may seem like just a toy. But play therapy is limitless in communicating needs and wants, said Dr Tahilramani, noting that play is the language of children. “What does a toy stand for? Why would you pick it? What does it mean? It could mean many things to the child and their inner world.”

The young patients are allowed to play any way they please. Sometimes, they draw s in the sand or scoop sand into a cone. “The kids take the lead. It’s about treating them with respect and letting them know that they are safe with me,” said Dr Tahilramani.

She noted that looking for safety is an inherent human instinct. “Play therapy offers children a safe, consistent place that is very repetitive and predictable,” she said. “When children experience safety and they feel connected, then they will express themselves.”

The main difference between being a doctor and a play therapist? “As a doctor, I focused on symptoms and diagnosis. As a play therapist, I look at the unmet needs behind behaviours and how I can support children and families,” said Dr Tahilramani.

She had initially hoped to specialise in art therapy. “But when I returned to Singapore, I chanced upon play therapy and found it very interesting,” she said. “I never imagined then I could work with children therapeutically.”

The Senior Play Therapist at the Division of Paediatric Psychological Services, National University Hospital (NUH), has been working with children – typically aged three to 10 – since 2015. After taking a break from her career to be with her family in London, she started a postgraduate diploma in play therapy in 2015, driven by her interest in art and creativity, as well as a desire to help people. The training became a process of self-discovery – particularly as she is a parent, too.

“On my first day of the course, which was also my son’s first day at preschool, I was asked to pick up a toy and share my thoughts,” recalled the mother of two children aged 11 and 15. “It started with ‘This is a red train’.”

“Then before I knew it, I started sharing things like, ‘My son likes trains’, and how I had mixed feelings about dropping him off at school for his first day.”

Play therapy is a developmentally appropriate form of therapy for children that taps into the brain’s natural ability for growth and healing, using play as a language for expression. Studies show that play activates areas of the brain linked to emotional processing, problem-solving and creativity. Through imaginative scenarios, individuals can safely explore their fears, express their emotions, and develop new ways to cope with challenges. For adults, it is a chance to reconnect with a more instinctive side, uncovering insights and emotional breakthroughs that may not surface in traditional talk therapy.

Play therapy begins with six weekly sessions. The key is to build a relationship with the patients – predictability and consistency are needed to create a safe space for them to express themselves, said Dr Tahilramani.

Dr Tahilramani said the most rewarding part of the job is the ability to help children go through difficult experiences. “With early intervention, the life of a child can be very different,” she added. “Based on neuroscience, the early years of a child are crucial as that is when the brain is shaped.

Dr Tahilramani has seen how early interactions shape a child’s development and future relationships. Her advice to parents? Invest as much time and effort in their children as they can.

“What kind of relationship do you want with your kids when they are older? During their teenage years, they will naturally seek more independence, and won’t return to you if strong connections weren’t built when they were younger,” she said. “That’s why it’s important to build the foundation now, so they’ll come back to you.”

The 3Cs of parenting, according to Senior Play Therapist Dr Vinita Tahilramani

• Connection: Parents often feel that children do not listen. But without feeling connected, kids may struggle to adhere. Try “special time” for as little as 15 minutes, where your child leads the play and you simply follow, without giving instructions or guiding the activity.
• Consistency: Regularly doing something with your children creates a safe memory for them. Simple activities, such as reading at bedtime or visiting their favourite playground, create lasting connections that stay with them as they get older.
• Correction: A strong connection with your child allows you to set healthy boundaries. Children have big emotions, which can overwhelm parents, but it is possible to stay connected while correcting their behaviour. You can validate their feelings without endorsing inappropriate actions. Parenting involves balancing love and nurturing, with setting clear limits.

In consultation with Dr Vinita Tahilramani, Senior Play Therapist, Division of Paediatric Psychological Services, Department of Paediatrics, NUH and Khoo Teck Puat – National University Children’s Medical Institute (KTP-NUCMI). KTP-NUCMI is part of the National University Centre for Women and Children (NUWoC), a national university specialist centre that aims to empower women, children and their families to lead a healthier lives.